Monday, March 24, 2014

My lifelong journey to get in shape

This is not something I usually write about but with inspiration from some friends I am close to, I'm writing this post. I've always struggled with my self image since I was at least 12 years of age. That was the point I felt like society made me feel I had to look a certain way. I remember watching television and then seeing commercials that would say, "Lose weight with this product" and then the next commercial would always be,"Eat a snickers!" These were the times that I wanted to yell at that television as crazy as it sounds and say,"Make up your mind! What do you want me to do?!" That's when the downward spiral seemed to start. I started looking in the mirror every day convincing myself that I was never pretty enough or thin enough. It came to a point that I didn't want to look in the mirror at all. This escalated into high school where I struggled with even caring what I looked like that day. I wouldn't wear make-up unless I had to or I would only wear it I at least thought, to boost my self worth.(I learned years later that self worth and self esteem are two COMPLETELY different things.) Struggling with my self image has basically been a life long struggle. Even on my mission I struggled with it but only difference was I was in walking/biking areas, so I was losing weight and getting in shape since we were supposed to exercise every morning. When I came home from my mission I was so happy because I looked good and I felt good and I had more energy. However, once I eased back into life back home and got my old job back, I eased right back into my old unhealthy eating habits. I got to a point that the dress I wore home from my mission I couldn't fit in anymore it wouldn't even zip up. This made me a bit depressed but I really did nothing about it,I gave up on even trying to exercise and I was having less and less energy throughout the day which made work always feel a lot longer then it actually was for the day.I write this now because I am in the process of losing weight to get in shape to fit in my wedding dress in 3 months and to start a healthy lifestyle. This is hard for me because I am a girl who likes candy and sweets. I crave the sugar constantly and its been EXTREMELY hard to cut out the sweets.However, I'm not perfect at it but when I slip up I just start over.Taking one day at a time by eating right,exercising and making it a point to avoid eating out or fast food as much as possible. And this hasn't been easy either. I have days I feel super depressed that I want to drown my sorrows in ice cream but I make it a point to tell myself that I want to feel better,that I want to be the healthy size I was before I went on my mission.So why am I writing this? I'm certainly not writing this to rub it in any one's face or to say my journey has been harder then someone else's journey to get in shape because it hasn't been harder then anyone else's journey,it's just me, writing MY journey that has been hard for ME throughout my life.Perhaps for others its easier or way harder then mine depending on how there life has been.My journey just happens to be something I have chosen to now become better and FINALLY feel good about myself.My fiance has always told me no matter how I may feel I look that I always look beautiful. Since I believe that I want to look beautiful for not only my fiance but for myself.I do want to say though its not about being a size 2 or 4 or 6 even, its about being comfortable in your own skin, and once you feel comfortable in your own skin you will always feel beautiful.
My before picture:
I for sure still got a ways to go but I am feeling much better about myself.
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Thursday, February 6, 2014

What amazing people the Lord has put in my life!!! :-)

So I know I haven't written in awhile but since last wrote A LOT has happened. So needless to say with planning my own wedding I'm under a ton of stress! :-P However, in the last couple weeks they have been the most amazing weeks of my life. :-) Yes a lot of things have happened. For example, some of you know from Facebook that I fell backwards and slipped on ice a couple weeks ago and apparently it's still hurting just a bit. :-(  However, tonight thanks to my brother and my fiance giving me a priesthood blessing I feel a lot better about going to the doctor to just double check on things. For some of you who may not know a priesthood blessing is a blessing that the men in our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, give to those people who ask for one either because they may be sick or a blessing for comfort. :-) The priesthood is the power and authority for men to act in God's name. They only receive this priesthood from God through another priesthood holder laying there hands upon there head and giving them that priesthood. However, the priesthood is the power and authority to act in God's name so the words that they say in a blessing come directly from Our Heavenly Father and Our Savior, Jesus Christ, which is an amazing feeling from the spirit deep in your heart.:-)  For me my fiance was the one who spoke the words of the blessing with my brother being there to help with the blessing as well. I can truly tell you that my fiance was speaking the words the Lord would want me to hear and what I know the Lord would say if I could see Him face to face today.  :-)
I love this gospel so much. I know this church is true, and that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. I know that Joseph Smith saw God, the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ in the spring of 1820 in a grove of trees. I know that President Thomas S. Monson is the prophet of God here on earth today. I know that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real. That he suffered for our sins and all our trials we go through. I know Jesus Christ knows every pain we go through and as one of my favorite songs describes "He knows your heart and He knows your name.." I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

PS. Here's the link to the video Every Breath the song I mention in this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQl7pCU-B1Y&list=FLQxlpYyCYRYGnAyEcSyEgfA&index=161    

Please comment and let me know what you think of my blog. :-) Thanks. -Celinda- 
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