This is a post I have debated about writing for a long time. I have been away from my blog for a long time and I believe it is time for me to finally share this story. We all have subjects we avoid talking about because we don't want to seem weird or "not normal" if people, loved ones and others, found out what we really struggle with and what were really like, would they still be our friends? Would they understand what were going through? Would they think we were weird or a freak? Well,today I'm writing to say one of those things that after I say it, that people might look at me differently but I feel like I have to say this.
I struggle with anxiety and depression and OCD. I have struggled with it since I was 13 years old. Growing up I had a great childhood and I have great parents who have taught me the gospel and helped me to trust the Lord and become the woman I am today. So why am I saying all this now? It is because despite struggling with mental illness I'm still happy most days. :-) I have my days that I hit rock bottom and then I get up and pray and then I try again to be happy. I am LDS and the church I attend and am a part of, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints just recently put out a video and a new website about mental illness these are the links to both.
https://www.lds.org/mentalhealth?lang=eng
I share my story because those who struggle with depression or anxiety, I get it but the Savior,Jesus Christ truly knows how we all feel and I know that He understands my struggle with mental illness.
All of you have been so kind to me especially while Greg has been away for training for the National Guard. I think a lot of why some of you may not know that I struggled with mental illness is because I don't throw it out there like candy. It is very hard for me to talk about it sometimes but now it has been a lot easier and a journey in knowing how to cope with my mental illness. :-) I know that my Heavenly Father and my Savior,Jesus Christ love me and love all of us. :-) They understand what we are going through and what we all struggle with individually. I know through the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ that it will help me cope with my mental illness. This is only a small part of my story but I feel like it is something I needed to share.
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
Thursday, August 13, 2015
FAMILY what it means to US. :-)
Today my blog is about family. When I first got married to Greg I found that I have always had that desire to be a mom one day. Shortly after we got married Greg and I were called to serve in the Nursery. We have been serving in the Nursery for a year now and we love it! :-) Now I know that I said that this was about family and it is. :-) When Greg and I got married we became a family(just the two of us.) Now most people may say,"Celinda, you and Greg don't have children yet." I would say to those people,"That may be so but aren't Greg and I a family of our own?" I would say we are a family. Most people think especially in LDS(Mormon) culture that every couple have children super fast. Some couples do have children right away and others have children later in life.There are many lessons I have learned in all of this:
1)Regardless of how long a couple has been married, NEVER and I mean NEVER ask when they are going to have children. This is a decision between husband and wife and the Lord. Sometimes it takes a married couple years to have children. Be sensitive to the fact that it is there business of when they start having kids. Remember that a husband and wife is a FAMILY. :-)
2)Do not under any circumstances ask a woman if she is pregnant! I have constantly been asked this at work by the same staff member the whole year that I have worked at my job. Maybe on those days my stomach looked funny or whatever but regardless it is completely and utterly rude to ask this! The best response I can give without snapping or without crying is,"Not that I know of."This is something a co-worker should never ask. If they do though use the response I said and hopefully they won't ask you again. (PS. I have never asked someone if they are pregnant. Even if you think they may be just don't ask wait until they tell you.)
3)Despite what anyone says or asks you REMEMBER that you and your husband are a FAMILY! :-) One of my favorite quotes comes from the Lilo and Stitch movie and I quote,"Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten."End quote. This movie the sisters have each other and they are FAMILY. :-) That is what family is about! They had a rough situation. A lot of married couples go through those tough and rough situations. One of the toughest things I believe a husband and a wife go through is trying to have children. I have that desire to be a mom and the MOST IMPORTANT thing I have learned is that it is all in the Lord's timing and that we have to be PATIENT. Being patient is not an easy thing. In fact it is the one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. However, knowing that both me and Greg have Our Savior, Jesus Christ to help comfort us and to understand EVERYTHING we go through because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I know that one day we will have children, in the Lord's due time.
4)Finally, I share this story because I want to help others who may feel like I felt,that even if you don't have children as husband and wife you are still a family! :-) Remember always to trust in the Lord because He knows what's best for us, and He knows when we are ready. I am grateful Greg and I have had an opportunity to serve in Nursery, and that we still are serving in Nursery because I know the Lord is having us learn something and teaching us something by both of us being in that calling.
I started out this post that this post is about family. Many of my family and my friends are going to have children soon or just recently had children. I want to say how happy I am for them! :-) How happy Greg and I are for them! :-) One day Greg and I will have children in the Lord's due time. :-) For now we are still a FAMILY and we have an opportunity to serve in the Nursery, 9 adorable kids, two hours every Sunday. :-) So the next time I'm asked how many kids we have, I will smile and say,"9 kids.Two hours every Sunday." :-)
1)Regardless of how long a couple has been married, NEVER and I mean NEVER ask when they are going to have children. This is a decision between husband and wife and the Lord. Sometimes it takes a married couple years to have children. Be sensitive to the fact that it is there business of when they start having kids. Remember that a husband and wife is a FAMILY. :-)
2)Do not under any circumstances ask a woman if she is pregnant! I have constantly been asked this at work by the same staff member the whole year that I have worked at my job. Maybe on those days my stomach looked funny or whatever but regardless it is completely and utterly rude to ask this! The best response I can give without snapping or without crying is,"Not that I know of."This is something a co-worker should never ask. If they do though use the response I said and hopefully they won't ask you again. (PS. I have never asked someone if they are pregnant. Even if you think they may be just don't ask wait until they tell you.)
3)Despite what anyone says or asks you REMEMBER that you and your husband are a FAMILY! :-) One of my favorite quotes comes from the Lilo and Stitch movie and I quote,"Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten."End quote. This movie the sisters have each other and they are FAMILY. :-) That is what family is about! They had a rough situation. A lot of married couples go through those tough and rough situations. One of the toughest things I believe a husband and a wife go through is trying to have children. I have that desire to be a mom and the MOST IMPORTANT thing I have learned is that it is all in the Lord's timing and that we have to be PATIENT. Being patient is not an easy thing. In fact it is the one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. However, knowing that both me and Greg have Our Savior, Jesus Christ to help comfort us and to understand EVERYTHING we go through because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I know that one day we will have children, in the Lord's due time.
4)Finally, I share this story because I want to help others who may feel like I felt,that even if you don't have children as husband and wife you are still a family! :-) Remember always to trust in the Lord because He knows what's best for us, and He knows when we are ready. I am grateful Greg and I have had an opportunity to serve in Nursery, and that we still are serving in Nursery because I know the Lord is having us learn something and teaching us something by both of us being in that calling.
I started out this post that this post is about family. Many of my family and my friends are going to have children soon or just recently had children. I want to say how happy I am for them! :-) How happy Greg and I are for them! :-) One day Greg and I will have children in the Lord's due time. :-) For now we are still a FAMILY and we have an opportunity to serve in the Nursery, 9 adorable kids, two hours every Sunday. :-) So the next time I'm asked how many kids we have, I will smile and say,"9 kids.Two hours every Sunday." :-)
Monday, March 24, 2014
My lifelong journey to get in shape
This is not something I usually write about but with inspiration from some friends I am close to, I'm writing this post. I've always struggled with my self image since I was at least 12 years of age. That was the point I felt like society made me feel I had to look a certain way. I remember watching television and then seeing commercials that would say, "Lose weight with this product" and then the next commercial would always be,"Eat a snickers!" These were the times that I wanted to yell at that television as crazy as it sounds and say,"Make up your mind! What do you want me to do?!" That's when the downward spiral seemed to start. I started looking in the mirror every day convincing myself that I was never pretty enough or thin enough. It came to a point that I didn't want to look in the mirror at all. This escalated into high school where I struggled with even caring what I looked like that day. I wouldn't wear make-up unless I had to or I would only wear it I at least thought, to boost my self worth.(I learned years later that self worth and self esteem are two COMPLETELY different things.) Struggling with my self image has basically been a life long struggle. Even on my mission I struggled with it but only difference was I was in walking/biking areas, so I was losing weight and getting in shape since we were supposed to exercise every morning. When I came home from my mission I was so happy because I looked good and I felt good and I had more energy. However, once I eased back into life back home and got my old job back, I eased right back into my old unhealthy eating habits. I got to a point that the dress I wore home from my mission I couldn't fit in anymore it wouldn't even zip up. This made me a bit depressed but I really did nothing about it,I gave up on even trying to exercise and I was having less and less energy throughout the day which made work always feel a lot longer then it actually was for the day.I write this now because I am in the process of losing weight to get in shape to fit in my wedding dress in 3 months and to start a healthy lifestyle. This is hard for me because I am a girl who likes candy and sweets. I crave the sugar constantly and its been EXTREMELY hard to cut out the sweets.However, I'm not perfect at it but when I slip up I just start over.Taking one day at a time by eating right,exercising and making it a point to avoid eating out or fast food as much as possible. And this hasn't been easy either. I have days I feel super depressed that I want to drown my sorrows in ice cream but I make it a point to tell myself that I want to feel better,that I want to be the healthy size I was before I went on my mission.So why am I writing this? I'm certainly not writing this to rub it in any one's face or to say my journey has been harder then someone else's journey to get in shape because it hasn't been harder then anyone else's journey,it's just me, writing MY journey that has been hard for ME throughout my life.Perhaps for others its easier or way harder then mine depending on how there life has been.My journey just happens to be something I have chosen to now become better and FINALLY feel good about myself.My fiance has always told me no matter how I may feel I look that I always look beautiful. Since I believe that I want to look beautiful for not only my fiance but for myself.I do want to say though its not about being a size 2 or 4 or 6 even, its about being comfortable in your own skin, and once you feel comfortable in your own skin you will always feel beautiful.
My before picture:
My after picture how I look now:
https://plus.google.com/u/0/101630315507233380227/posts
I for sure still got a ways to go but I am feeling much better about myself.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
What amazing people the Lord has put in my life!!! :-)
So I know I haven't written in awhile but since last wrote A LOT has happened. So needless to say with planning my own wedding I'm under a ton of stress! :-P However, in the last couple weeks they have been the most amazing weeks of my life. :-) Yes a lot of things have happened. For example, some of you know from Facebook that I fell backwards and slipped on ice a couple weeks ago and apparently it's still hurting just a bit. :-( However, tonight thanks to my brother and my fiance giving me a priesthood blessing I feel a lot better about going to the doctor to just double check on things. For some of you who may not know a priesthood blessing is a blessing that the men in our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, give to those people who ask for one either because they may be sick or a blessing for comfort. :-) The priesthood is the power and authority for men to act in God's name. They only receive this priesthood from God through another priesthood holder laying there hands upon there head and giving them that priesthood. However, the priesthood is the power and authority to act in God's name so the words that they say in a blessing come directly from Our Heavenly Father and Our Savior, Jesus Christ, which is an amazing feeling from the spirit deep in your heart.:-) For me my fiance was the one who spoke the words of the blessing with my brother being there to help with the blessing as well. I can truly tell you that my fiance was speaking the words the Lord would want me to hear and what I know the Lord would say if I could see Him face to face today. :-)
I love this gospel so much. I know this church is true, and that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. I know that Joseph Smith saw God, the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ in the spring of 1820 in a grove of trees. I know that President Thomas S. Monson is the prophet of God here on earth today. I know that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real. That he suffered for our sins and all our trials we go through. I know Jesus Christ knows every pain we go through and as one of my favorite songs describes "He knows your heart and He knows your name.." I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
PS. Here's the link to the video Every Breath the song I mention in this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQl7pCU-B1Y&list=FLQxlpYyCYRYGnAyEcSyEgfA&index=161
Please comment and let me know what you think of my blog. :-) Thanks. -Celinda-
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
How Greg Maw and I met
I served my mission in Ogden,Utah for those who may not know. :) I met Greg while we were both serving as missionaries for my church I go to: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was not expecting to meet anyone on my mission that could be a future eternal mate of mine. In fact when I first saw him I thought, He's weird and I don't want to get to know him. Later on talking to him months later on the phone, I found out he thought the same thing. :-P Well you would think it would have ended there but it didn't. Throughout those next six weeks in that area I grew to like him a lot more, even though I maybe said two sentences to him out of those six weeks. It finally came time to see if we would be moved to a different area and I stayed but he got moved to a different group(we were in district so companionships of missionaries kind of like a group) but same area so we wouldn't see each other as much. That's when I finally went to talk to him after some convincing from a companion of mine I served with. Well we clicked instantly. We started talking about the most random things and joking about the most random things. We still saw each other every Preparation Day(a Tuesday when we could go bowling, do laundry etc to prepare for the rest of the week) and got to know each other better. It wasn't until we went on a hike on a preparation day, that I knew this was going to work out after the mission. I could feel how I felt about Greg at that point. He was so honest and so open(and he still is). He was and is such a gentleman and I hoped and prayed that something could work out after the mission. Well it soon came time for me to come home from my mission. Before I left I asked him if I could write him. He said, sure and so that's what I did. Greg had three months left of his mission and I just wanted to be supporting and encouraging so that's what I did. Soon I found through letter correspondence that I was falling in love with Greg. You may say how is that possible? I'm telling you its possible. When he came home we texted and talked on the phone almost every day. To this day we chat about twice a week and we text. Having him come visit me in California this last July, helped solidify my feelings for Greg. What it came down to is I could see myself spending the rest of my life with Greg and spending eternity with him. When he proposed to me in the celestial room of the San Diego temple I had no doubt that this is the man I want to spend eternity with. :) Is it gonna be easy? No its not but eternity is so worth it. No one is perfect but what eternal marriage is really about is realizing marriage isn't for YOU, its for being there for the other person. It's about being there for the other person and being there for them when they need you most. It's about having a marriage where it's you, your spouse, and the Lord all working to together to keep your marriage eternal. That is what eternal marriage is all about. I'm so happy to be getting married for time and all eternity to Greg Maw, June 20th, 2014. How blessed I am to have had the Lord place Greg Maw in my path and how thankful I am for my mission! :) For if I had never gone to Ogden,Utah I would have never met my eternal companion.:)
Until next time,
Celinda Molen
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